There is a slight time lapse with this entry because I started it almost four weeks ago and finished it just now. I am happy, regardless, for the resulting shift in mentality that has come in this space of time and in the time I have had to myself this summer. Below follows some of the changes I was hesitant to acknowledge and some repetitive explanation of how there is no right time to start. Now is what we have.
(Warning: It’s a bit choppy.)
[About Four Weeks Ago]
I have put this post off fighting with myself afraid the changes I have started to feel might be some sort of fallacy. The physical changes have been small. My shirts and pants have just slightly a bit more room than previously. I have acclimated to regularly walking a hilly and mountainous region versus the lower hills of my hometown. Still it is important to look in the mirror, specially to make sure the changes I seek are in fact taking place and if they are not, to reevaluate what I am doing and change it.
What has changed so far?
(New Measurement/Starting Measurement)
A few inches, a small victory but still a victory!!!
I am pleasantly satisfied that the changes I feel are not all in my head.
Since I first began writing this entry I have now come back home. I feel somewhat discouraged though similarly motivated after leaving North Carolina. Discouraged because I am heading back to an old environment in which I depend on my car for transportation rather than my legs. I know that it is a luxury I am blessed to have but being able to walk to work and about town became of great benefit to me.
My job also kept me moving about. The least I walked in a day was two miles which for me is an improvement. A majority of the summer I walked between three and half to four miles a day throughout the week. Except perhaps Saturday when I was off, still I ventured out, too intrigued by the surrounding nature to stay inside for too long.
In the city and the suburbs nature is an underwhelming decoration, however attractive and elegant it may be. The local parks feel somewhat flat and naked to me, because many are devoid of trees and a variety of other flora sitting in a small hilly area. I state this as fact not as complaint. This, I am sure sounds lazy to the average neurotypical, but going out and making my own adventures was not something I thought was something to go after. I felt and thought they occurred as life went on and as benchmark times came. This is, at which point, I found my motivation. To make things happen, to not wait, but to go and do. I am most definitely repeating myself here but I will consider it due diligence and practice for mindful change. There will never be a right time, right environment, or right circumstance. Try as I might to make things different they will not change until I do different.
It is for me to make my own adventures and to “Go to the mountains.”
“The mountains are calling & I must go…” – John Muir