Fighting the Answer

Fighting the Answer 

Sometimes when you aren’t where you want to be, if you are like me, you pout. You pout, squander time, rage against the reality you need to face, find refuge in scrambling up an escape plan you’ll never act on, and whirl about something that keeps your attention away from the sinking ship that you yourself blasted a whole in. You intentionally avert the mirror.

But when the problems start piling up sometimes the answer is already staring you in the face. What you are doing isn’t working. The way you are trying to achieve the next set of goals is setting you back and if you don’t pay attention, you will be suffocated by the present while you are so focused on the future. You didn’t think you were making the same mistake, you thought that with new goals oriented towards the direction you’d like to go were logical and well planned with the bonus of an excel spreadsheet showing you what needed to be done, and when.

Still you hit the same wall, again and again. What you missed, what I missed was taking advantage of the adage “Work with what you got.” It is an easily dismissed quote because people use it all the time when giving advice. Particularly when what you have isn’t always what you want…but the answer to that excuse is another oldy but goody (yes, it is a song lyric courtesy of the Rolling Stones) “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you just might find, you get what you need.”

I have been going through a rough patch fighting myself trying to follow some linear path to my own definition of success. What I have been getting wrong is that the path isn’t linear, and trying to force it has only made things more difficult for myself. I have neglected one of the best resources I have. Myself.

A recent bout of consequence dejavu shook me. I saw the signs of history about to repeat itself when I realized I needed to pump the breaks, pull over, and go on a mental hike. I found that when I looked in the mirror I was about to come head to head with a wall that had a door in it the whole time. Averting my eyes out of anger and frustration had caused me to ignore a solution with healthier priorities and a clearer, more positive, and productive perspective. I was only hurting myself.

The best any of us can do for ourselves and even others is take care of ourselves and being honest about who we are in the now rather than who we want to be. Being better comes with growth it’s not something that has to be forced. Sometimes we are simply being too hard on ourselves. Yes change is hard work but acknowledging yourself, your strengths, weaknesses, talents, and whatever else makes you, you can be the difference between seeing the door or just another wall.

Learn to be one of the best friends you can have, learn to love the now, learn to see the door, and learn that there is no one way to succeed.